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Comfort
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Comfort

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Number of posts : 1158
Age : 26
Location : Auckland, New Zealand
AoF Organisation Role : Ikariam Home Secretary
Registration date : 2007-12-14
Phoenix Grace : 4704

News from the Void! - Page 2 Empty
20071223
PostNews from the Void!

Quite often when I am online, I like to make up little News stories to keep the players in my group entertained (especially when trading), so I thought I might make a few stories here Smile


Top story tonight:

Fierce battles were seen today in the Alexadria system as Corsairs and Outcasts tried to finally take control of the system as the main pirate organisation. Most of these scuffs have been sighted from miles away, and many cruisers have been seen frequenting the areas around Planet Darius and the Perdicass Depot.

All freelancers are advised to stay away, although this is only temporary, as they all seem to be leaving trade convoys alone and just going after each other instead. These homocidal acts from these powerful pirate organisations could finally secure the system for one side, once and for all. Again, the Europa Navy caution all Freelancers to stay away from these areas.

Comfort, AoF Void news.


News updates will be posted at a later time. If this just sounded really stupid be quiet about it will you? Any fans would be appreciated Very Happy


Last edited by on Sun Dec 23, 2007 5:25 pm; edited 2 times in total
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News from the Void! :: Comments

Comfort
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Sat Mar 29, 2008 2:50 am by Comfort
Checking microphone...
Checking video feed...
Testing connection...
Checking wave output...
News broadcast active.

*gun shots heard in background*
Hello my faithful viewers! Sorry I've been away for a while - after a got through that court case, I started up a new terrorist group in spite. I now have many followers and are holding out well. I'm evacuating this facility now, so I won't be talking for a while.

As you can hear, I have a raid going on. The defences we currently have are being overwhelmed, so I have to get out now. The Libertonians and the Bretonians are really on my ass lately... after I took out a Freeport outpost (that was packed with opressors, I might add), all hell broke loose...

*sound of a door being kicked down and soldiers tramping in, heavy fire still prevailing*
"S***!!"
"We gotta go NOW!!!"

Oh well viewers, I have to be back later... right now, here's the only news I can give you:

New systems have been found, and new species have been to. They are IN THE GOVERNMENT!! It'll be like the Nomads all over again - except this time, they're PREPARED for the resistance - they know about the order, they have many spies, they are looking to WIPE US OUT!! They... they aren't aliens - they're Extra Dimensional Beings! They... they're in our population they... they will try to take our main population to their safe zones, and then the rest of us will be.. more controllable... We.. we can't win this - they will WIPE US OUT!!
Get out while you still can... oh god, they're coming NOW!

*sounds of a chopper starting up*
"GO GO GO!!!"
Okay, thankyou for listening, my children--err, viewers...

*bullets heard bouncing off the helicopter*

--End Transmission--
Comfort
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Sun Mar 30, 2008 3:10 am by Comfort
*sounds of bullets bouncing off metal in background*

Hello, fellow Siruisians! It would seem that I am still on the run - those bloody Corsairs can't keep their defences up lonf enough to defend anyone out here... been hanging out around thier planets trying to avoid police patrols. Unfortunately, we got caught, and now we're trying to shake some Fighter wings and a Cruiser compliment. When you piss of a house, they send in the big guns. Or at least, big to us. After all, we have all of 2 guns active and 3 ships, 1 of which is a damn AT!
Alright, since we could be blown up at anytime, and I REALLY need to get to the bridge, I'll make this brief.

We have a crisis situation here. The new species has spies in our fleet... right now, we're being demolished... but by house corporations, damn them. They have no idea of the peril they are in... and that the Order is just becoming a pathetic excuse for a fighting force... these days, they're all just media hype. The fight has left them with this new race. They have 5 times the power of the Nomads, and that's calculating even before the Hypergate reactivation.
The Order is keeping it under wraps, but they can barly hold them down. The Monkeys and Robots have stepped up their patrols to help shelter the Order from the Nomads while they drive off this new species.
Soon, we will face the same crisis as the Nomad war, yet again. This time, it will be worse. They will more than trigger the houses into annihalating each other - they will do it themselves! They barly need to sabotage, they have the means, the firepower, and the brains to take the tactical operation to full scale war.
We are hopeless. The race is doomedunless we get Sleeper Ships out of here yet again. We must find another Colonisable star system, must yet again send our people away to a distant land, never to see them again. It's a sorry truth, but it must be done. We have done it before, we can do it again. Let's pull this off clean and quick.

*a large explosion rocks the ship*
Holy! Crap, we gotta go, I need to help with the guns... Talk another time, my humble listeners!
Comfort
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Mon Apr 07, 2008 5:08 am by Comfort
Setting connections...
Raising audio feed...
Online


*sounds of ships taking off in background, mixed with soft rock on loudspeakers*
Hello, my good watchers! My militarist group seems to have claimed its own base in the Sector! We took over an old gas miner pretty much, but it gives us free H-Fuel - very good for our ever-expanding fleet.
Now, enough about me, here is the latest news:

-------------------------------------
The term homocide must not mean much these days - after all, people die every second in dogfights with outlaws alone - but, it takes to some people. The rates of murders have been going up dramatically lately, after outlaw factions have been noticing ever growing cracks in the armour of the houses.

As we progress in our industrialisation, we have been running down the mining fields in the inner Tau, Omega and Sigma systems. This means we must travel further to get our raw materials. And this means that the house navies must be stretched ever further to protect our interests in the border worlds. This means that we have barly any protection at home, as the Police can hardly fill in the great gaping hole that the missing navies have left behind.

As this happens, outlaw factions see their chance and hit them where it hurts - behind the lines. More kills are happening now thanks to this that we are losing more than we are gaining. Soon, we may not even have a police force to govern our home systems. At this point, it seems like Freelancer vigilantes are our only hope. Or at least, that's what the people paying for this broadcast say (damn, filthy, advert causing sunuva b****es). So, we must call YOU to the stand. YOU must protect the traders and the weaklings of the Void! Go now, and protect your brethren!! HEED THE CALL!!!!
----------------------------------------

Yes, I realise that was sappy. It's not my fault, if I didn't say that, I'd lose my funding... damn dirty apes... (yeah, that's right, my newscast is funded by the MONKEYS!!)
Oh well, until next time.

-End Transmission-
Comfort
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Mon Apr 21, 2008 6:02 am by Comfort
I've been cut off from the void for nearly a week. IT'S DRIVING ME MAD!!! I hate this PC... But, to relieve the tension (and possibly homocidal thoughts), here's news - from OGame!


Making the headlines for tonight:
Crisis in Deuterium brings entire fleets to a halt, as nearly every single Deuterium mine in the galaxies has it's workers on strike!! Fleets are stranded, prone to attack from any invasion force and useless to send their espionage probes to find any reasonably sized Deuterium stores.
The good thing? Hippie protestors have finally stopped complaining! Those sunuvas have finally SHUT THE HECK UP!!! It's a miracle for most beaurocrats, and a big loss of income for hippie exterminators. But no fear for them! They now have a new prey, one that is even more fierce than the last - COMPLAINING RIGHT WING DEMOCRATS!!! Exterminators are working feverishly around the clock to get them all, but they're multiplying too quickly. We advise all viewers to get as many earplugs as possible, and stay inside.

Thankyou for listening. Comfort (Not such a comfort), AoF OGame news Wink

I do my best writing late at night - full of ideas and crazy sugar/caffiene hype from the day... yum!
Comfort
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Thu Jun 05, 2008 3:04 am by Comfort
News, news, news, it's all I do in this thread. I don't know why, but I think it has something to do with the title...

Anyway, here's the news for this evening:


A NUKE HAS BEEN DETONATED OVER MANHATTEN!! In a foiled Rogue (losers) attempt to bomb the planet of Manhatten in the New York system, a small nuclear device was detonated in the upper atmosphere of the planet. Millions of people are being evacuated from the fallout zones, at a great cost to the planets many citizens who are now temporarily without a home. Refugee camps have been set up just outside of the fallout range, and are already nearly filled to capacity.

Attempts to understand why the Rogues decided to do this are speculative at best, and no one can really figure out a major reason. LPI who intercepted the bombers were attracted by drunken radio transmissions, with Rogues bragging how much this woul piss off Liberton officials. Considering how drunk they were, most of the wing members were suprised they got anywhere near the planet at all, and if they any closer they probably would have just crashed anyway.

Meanwhile, stargazers on Manhatten are told to watch the skies for falling debris, which are very pretty fireworks, even if they can be deadly. Just watch it's not coming in your direction, and you should be fine.


Comfort, AoF Void News.
avatar
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Mon Jun 09, 2008 6:29 pm by Pyromatrix
HAHAHA i love this your stories rock comfort Very Happy
Comfort
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Mon Jun 09, 2008 11:57 pm by Comfort
Thanks mate, appreciated!
Albert
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Tue Jun 10, 2008 12:26 am by Albert
Hey! I do too!! I read them all! Very Happy
Comfort
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Tue Jun 10, 2008 1:33 am by Comfort
You do? I hope you don't believe them... well, you did go after those fish falling on Planet LA...
avatar
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:24 am by Pyromatrix
Yea lol i demand moar hehe XD , also off topic, im at the AoF base in alpha, and i never see any other AoF and also i have never seen anothe Aof Pirate O.o
Comfort
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Wed Jun 11, 2008 1:55 am by Comfort
News for tonight! Or today! I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!!!!

Anyway...


On every planet, no matter whether it's in a fictional universe or not, has volcanic and tectonic activity. In the Sirius of the Nomad wars and 2115, it is the same.

On the mostly terraformed planet of Harris in the Los Angeles system, wokers for Planetform Incorporated accidentally used too many explosives in a attempt to extract more water from the earth to terraform more quickly (being several months behind schedule prompts craziness), and caused a massive earthquake which then sparked a volcanic eruption in the area.

Damage has been estimated in the hundreds of thousands already, and Planetform employees have been evacuated from the area, which was a small outpost station that was to be a small suburban community for ugly housewives. This has now been destroyed, and many are wondering where the ugly housewives will go. Many beautiful housewives are worries that they may have to live near them, which could really kill their sex life.
Back on topic, which I hate to be but in order to get my fake cheque I need to be, several men and women (equality, people) have been killed or badly injured and are on nearby Los Angeles getting treatment for smoke inhalation and burns from flying molten material and raging fires that have begun on the planets surface. Ash clouds extend miles into the air, causing space traffic delays and making it almost impossible for stargazers t see the Tahoe Ice Cloud, which is seriously pissing off the amateurs.

This news advises freelancers to stay away from the area at all costs - engine trouble is our greatest foe, above even the Nomads! Also rioting has begun, as the amateurs really HATE not being able to see their pace junk. I mean stars. Whatever...


Comfort, AoF Void News
Comfort
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Fri Jun 13, 2008 6:03 am by Comfort
A flock of sparrows of mammoth propotions was spotted on planet Manhatten today, prompting rioting and paranoia as bird poop engulfs the planets citizens. Also, many people have come back from the dead, prompting many people to change their views on Ancient Native American Folklore, as in their beliefs sparrows and 'Psychopomps' or 'Harbingers of the living dead', as they are the soul ferriers from the underworld. Yes people, this IS the - majorly disgusting - apocalypse for Manhatten. Ha-ha Libertonians, ha-ha.

As you can tell, it was a VERY slow news day. The end.


Comfort, AoF Void News. Boy, am I bored...
avatar
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Fri Jun 13, 2008 7:32 pm by Pyromatrix
FLY TO THE BIRD POOP HARVEST IT TO SELL AS A MEDICINALK PRODUCT ON NEW BERLIN!!!
Comfort
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Sun Jun 15, 2008 12:30 am by Comfort
Pyromatrix wrote:
FLY TO THE BIRD POOP HARVEST IT TO SELL AS A MEDICINALK PRODUCT ON NEW BERLIN!!!

Shouldn't you go to Kusari? Asians use everything as an Aphrodesiac! (no offence, but you do - black market addicts)
Comfort
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Fri Jun 20, 2008 8:17 pm by Comfort
Today the representatives from the four houses met at a secret summit, and were duly massacred. An unprecedented fleet of 2000 Nomad ships, from Nomad Battle ships to Valkyrie N1's were involved in the attack, and completely destroyed the station at which they met at.

Ironically, the new Freeport 7 was the stage for the attack - and, like it's sister station, it was completely destroyed. Nobody made it out alive, any Escape Pods that made it out of the station were shot down and all rescue parties were chased off from the area by heavy Nomad Laser fire for hours after the event had transpired.

Nobody knows why the Nomads attacked, or why the hell the politicians at the event didn't move it somewhere else, as it was well known that there was a lot of Nomad activity in the area thanks to the Jump Hole to Tempest within 5 Kilometres of the station. Anyway, thanks to this, all Vice-whatevers were brought to power, and now we're ruled by dictators. This is exactly why I moved to the Independent systems after the first Nomad war. You fools stayed, and now you're DOOMED!!! Hah! The crazies win BITCH!! Woohoo!

*cuts out*

"We're experiencing managerial difficulties at the moment. Please stand by."


Comfort, AoF Void News
Comfort
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Sun Jun 22, 2008 12:40 am by Comfort
Notices have come in of a Giant Whale floating about in the New Tokyo system in Kusari. Patrolas have been sent out to look for it, but so far it looks like a hoax.

Wait a minute... news coming in... it is a hoax. People are told to grab their torches and pitchforks and meet up at Planet New Tokyo for some hunting of the ultimate kind - Bounty Hunting. The perpetrator of the story is told to be... *gulp*... Comfort of the AoF. Well, I guess this is what happens when you try to create your own news. Goodbye now.

"Where's my keys? Oh goddammit, never mind! How do I hijack a ship again? Bother, bother, bother, bother..."

Comfort, AoF Void News
Comfort
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Thu Jul 03, 2008 12:11 am by Comfort
A skirmish was witnessed in Colorado today, just outside Planet Denver. The fight was a staged event, done as a demonstration to the travelers and traders that were in the system at the time as a show of their security, and a warning to those who cross the LPI.

It was set up by the LPI's head man, Crundy McFeatherson. He said that, "The public needs some insurance from their police that they can protect them. This was the perfect way to show it, as far as we could stretch our resources for, anyway. We're investing everything at the moment in a secret project in the Texas system. Oh crap. Errr... don't write I said that."
After this rather strange comment from the beaurecrat, he shuffled back to his Armored Transport, for his trip back to Texas.

The demonstration was made up of many hired Freelancers, wannabe actors, and LPI officers. Many of the actors, after having asked for a space-trailer, were fired. With a third of the crew gone, they also took to hiring escorts from passing convoys, which, incidentally, made it an great time for opportunistic Rogues, increasing the Liberty Navy's patrols for the day in Galileo and Kepler. On one side of the fight were the Rogues and the Hackers (the Freelancers, actors, and the escorts), and the LPI heroes (LPI officers), and a few transports which were also being hired for the event (passing traders, duh).

At the height of the combat, the precedings were interrupted by an annoying level 14 in a Banshee, who flitted around the area until he blew himself to smithereens in the atmosphere of Planet Denver.

The staged combat was a great success, with over 200,000 turning up to the proceedings, and many thousands of dollars were made from the charitable donations (in other words, everyone was rounded up and forced to pay. Not at gunpoint, of course. No LPI officer would ever hurt a House member.). Several people escaped the pay, and are now being tracked by LPI undercover agents.


Comfort, AoF Void News.
Arch_Vile
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Thu Jul 03, 2008 4:03 am by Arch_Vile
ha ha a great way to make people donate for charity events...if ya dont pay we'll sent in our undercover agents n MAKE U PAY!!! lol. Very nice m8...
Comfort
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Fri Jul 04, 2008 11:26 pm by Comfort
Grave robbing in the ultimate way was commited today by Corsairs in Omicron Alpha. They slipped in through the Omicron Theta jump hole in the southern end of the Sinestro (I think...) Cloud.

The Southern Sirius space pirates somehow got through the thought-to-be impenetrable defence lines of the Outcasts, got to the Unknown 1 Jump hole, and then pinched all of the Outcast fighters positioned around the hole. This comes after a hit on several Corsair patrols in the Sigmas, and is thought as a classic 'you-hit-me-I-hit-you' tactic, used many a time in many a place by many a faction, all bent on their evil doings. It's so widespread, even cartoon characters do it. I mean, even Gitmo does it for Christ's sake! Err... back on topic... the Corsairs took every single burial ship, but were ambushed by a Nomad patrol that came unexpectedly out of the hole. Fortunately for them, they are excellent fighters and took the four down in seconds.

The Outcasts were very angered by this action by their cunning foes, and are now on the lookout for any Corsairs they can get their hands on - shoot to kill is the motto, and Outcasts have been known to always take this option to heart. Revenge wrecks are bound to be everywhere, so all scavengers are on the lookout in the Border Worlds along patrol paths of the Outcast and Corsair patrols, just for harvestable wrecks. There's plenty to go around, so go on - join in! Even I'll be there! So come on, join your favourite reporter in profiting on others misery!


Comfort, AoF Void News
Albert
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Sat Jul 05, 2008 5:13 am by Albert
I think you'll be late, I was there a few minutes after the battle and looted many wrecks. Razz

If you're lucky you may find something that I missed. :tongue:
Comfort
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Sat Jul 05, 2008 7:20 am by Comfort
Damn you Albert! FTL travel has nothing on a quick-footed Spaniard...
Comfort
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Sat Jul 05, 2008 9:05 pm by Comfort
'Bleeding Electricity', a new and upcoming band from Bretonia, have been captured by Molly's today in the Dublin system.

They were going to play a concert for the miners on Graves Station, when they were suddenly ambushed just outside the Minefield surrounding the station. Transmissions ceased soon after the kidnapping. Just half an hour later, a ransom transmission was recieved by the Bretonian Police Authority from the Molly's base in Dublin, Arranmore. They demand 200,000,000,000 credits, and if they don't get it within two days, they will execute the captives.

Since the band members have no family (they all died from internal bleeding after being trampled in the mosh pit at one of the band's concerts), no relatives can give them any money. All money is being raised right out of the Public's pocket, and people are asked to give generously. If they don't - well, let's just say, they'll be sleeping with the space-fishes.


Comfort, AoF Void News.
Comfort
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Wed Jul 16, 2008 10:43 pm by Comfort
Corsairs today finally made a move with their plans against the Hessians. Their first positioned battalion made a move again the Ronneburg base in Omega-5, and were destroyed En Masse.

The well put together plan was foiled, when it was leaked via spies on the nearby Freeports. The plan was leaked to the public via the new outlets in the systems surrounding the Corsair homeworld of Omicron Gamma. Corsairs are now rounding up many staff in the High Command of the Corsair fleets, hoping to weed out the loud-mouthed traitor.

In the meantime, the Corsair fleet has been heavily damaged and the Hessians are taking this as a major opportunity to take Omega-5 once and for all. They are massing their offensive fleet in Omega-11, in preperation for the attack on the system.

The Rheinland Military and Police forces are happy to have these threats allieviated, even if it is only temporary, and are trying to map all the Jump Holes that this Pirate faction use in their space. This also counts for the Bretonia Armed Forces and their Police forces, who are employing the same tactics to find the Jump Holes that the Corsairs use. Their search is not as effective, however, owing to the fact that they still have the Mollys, Outcasts, Hackers, and Gaians to worry about. This just proves, once again, that Bretonia is a hotbed of criminal activity and they should all be exterminated.

Oh crap, did I just say that out loud? I gotta go...


Comfort, AoF Void News.
Comfort
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Thu Jul 31, 2008 1:36 am by Comfort
Advances on the western front! No idea what that means, but here's the story, anyway...


People on Planet Denver have deserted an entire city after Marbles overran several buildings when a Luxury Goods Transport exploded in the lower atmosphere. Hundreds are dead and many hundreds of thousands were injured when the deadly rain of Cats Eyes and Opals fell out of the sky, surprising the unsuspecting residents of Hydro Minoris, a water-saturated island city. Fortunately, the traffic in the city at the particular time of day was surprisingly light and many thousands escaped injury simply by doing their jobs and travelling slowly or half-arsedly.

Nobody quite knows yet why the Transport detonated in midair, but many think it was the work of the Xenos, who have been targeting Consumer Goods shipments coming out of Kusari lately. This will be verified by the LPI, who just plain hate Xenos and say their "Screw You" Policy will make the responsible completely free while they blast someone away to cover over their just not bothering-ness.

On the lighter side, thousands of children now have large stores of Marbles, and are using them to gamble in their games of Marbles. LPI have started recruiting 'Little Coppers', to head off scammers and skinheads from terrorizing the little gamblers.


Comfort, AoF Void News.
Albert
Re: News from the Void!
Post on Thu Jul 31, 2008 1:10 pm by Albert
Zoner citizens of Nereid becoming rich!!

Since Omicorn Alpha has been lately the most active system in Sirius, all citizens of Nereid are making lots of money. The bars are full of dry pilots, the hangars are full of semi-destroyed ships from everywhere, even the churches are full of traders praying for a safe trade run in OA's space.

-"Yeah, I worked 13 hours today, I bought a new and bigger hangar and I still have 6 ships in the street waiting for repairs"- Said a tired but happy mechanic.

-"Nereid is having a sweet moment right now. We'll be soon more important than Malta, and I hope the Sirius council will retake again our request to move OA's capital to our great Planet"- Said Gerhard Morgs, the proud governor of Nereid.

-"What?!?...the who?!?! ...against what?!?!"- Said a grandma catched in the supermaket. -"All I know is that everything's quite more expensive than last week! Mr Morgs is doing nothing for ancient people!"-

Albert-Hash, AoF Void News.
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